Thursday, November 10, 2011
Wednesday, November 09, 2011
Tuesday, November 01, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Turns out, full time job, full time school, and an internship all at once kind of blow. Things are getting put off that shouldn't, and I'm putting myself at the bottom of my priorities. I've gained a lot of weight, which I'm trying to starve off, since its not like I have time for food anyways. Overall my mood has been lower since September. I get mad at myself for not getting things done, yet its hard to work up the motivation to get started despite that. I have no energy, though I can't sleep.
So overall, I'm doing pretty good.
Being able to knit with your eyes closed is a good skill for when you don't have any energy left but feel guilty (because whether its caused by your workplace, your schoolwork, or your eating habits, you always feel guilty) just doing absolutely nothing.
The least helpful thing anyone has said to me during all this has been "you need a vacation." And if I was allowed to take one that'd be great. But for now, all I can do is just keep slogging through. Eventually, it has to get better, right?
Monday, September 12, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
7 minutes away from the first class of this year and I'm already checked out.
So far its really nice to see the other part timers and connect with them again. It's hard to feel like you're part of something when you're not full time, where you don't have that shared connection as strongly.
Professor just came in; so far I like him. I have a good feeling.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Sunday, May 08, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Saturday, April 09, 2011
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Heart wants me to create.
Body wants me to move.
Brain wants me to work.
Mind doesn't want me to do a goddamn thing.
Things are hard right now. Too many changes all at once. Despite my assertion that I'd be ok, that's a lot to ask with the sheer amount I have to do right now. The school assignment list is daunting enough on its own. Of course, when there's that much to do, nothing happens. I know what I need to do. And I know what I'd like to do. But lately, there's too much of a disconnect between that and what really happens.
Which scares me.
It'll come together. It always does. It's just hard as hell being stuck in this cycle until it does.