I hate crochet.

SO MUCH.

I can't do the "yarn over" all cool like everyone else in the damn world that crochets and make the hook do the work. I have to pull it with my hand. Which entirely defeats my purpose in crocheting. It looked fun and cool and fast and no, I'm some sort of special ed fiber freak. It took me MONTHS to learn to knit, and I can teach people in 2 minutes. I feel so stupid. Oh boy, I can make a chain. In a way that I don't like. That justifies the expensive book I bought, clearly.

I shouldn't be wasting my time with this, and instead, be agonizing over that Mariah sleeve.

Not gonna lie.

Chewing my own arm off so I don't have to make the second sleeve of Mariah is becoming an ever more appealing option. Right front is finished but I'm adding an inch to the left from and back, since I always find myself pulling the Ribby Cardi down. Really concerned about the lack of shaping and all the putting on holders. This yoke thing is scaring the crap out of me.

That's kind of a letdown

A few hours ago there was a 19 inch sleeve hanging off my needles. Now there's the woolen equivalent of an eyebrow. I mean, that means the sleeve is finished, but as soon as I finish, I'm back at the beginning again!

To be honest...

I really hate Mariah. I hate everything about the process of this goddamn pattern. I hate that THERE IS NO LOGIC TO ANYTHING and I hate I've metaphorically ripped out so much hair over this. Maybe I'm not good at math, but could someone tell me if I'm right here?

C0 46 stitches for a small.

K1.
Do two repeats of the pattern. It's a 22 stitch repeat normally, but for this pattern, you end a stitch early. So it's a 21 stitch repeat.
K2.

1 + 42 + 2 = 45.

NOT 46. NOT 46 AT ALL.

oh god someone out there has to have done this pattern and can help me.